Fredcat's Tails
Easter eggs
 Kitty the cutie cat |
It would soon be Easter and Fredcat had invited three of his friend from New Jersey (Kitty, Patches and Herbie) to spend a few days at the Fredcat residence and enjoy some North Carolina sunshine. This year, Easter was being celebrated in the second week of April so the weather would be good and there would be plenty of time to explore the neighbourhood. |
Fredcat had, as was his wont, woken early in order to give Mr. B. his morning wake-up call at 5.30am (whether the latter wanted it or not) - there being few pleasures more rewarding to Fredcat than the rousting of that grumpy gent when he was least able to defend himself.
Having spread his own special sort of early morning cheer, Fredcat strolled into the living room to find Herbie assiduously grooming himself, Kitty reclining gracefully on the best armchair and Patches, restless as usual, just looking for trouble.
"I think we might take a stroll down to the new building site," Fredcat said, "there is bound to be plenty going on there." "Not a bad idea," chipped in Patches, "perhaps we could sniff out some mice and have a bit of a game with them," (he was always always one to be in the thick of things, was Patches).
For reasons best known to herself, Kitty, decided to stay behind, "to rest", as she put it, so the three male cats sped off to the building site. There appeared to be a lot of activity going on and they decided to keep their heads down for a while. "I can see something over there," said Patches, excitedly.
 Return of the Squire |
At first all was still but, as they looked, there slowly came into view the unmistakable shape of a squirrel. "Squire!" exclaimed Fredcat, "how did you get here? I thought that you had relocated to the next community and would be leaving us in peace." "What is it about Squire?" asked Herbie. "You may well ask," replied Fredcat, grimly, "he's probably up to no good, I'll be bound." |
"Morning, Patches, morning Herbie, morning my old friend Fredcat," said Squire, calmly. "Me leave you guys in peace? Oh no, I couldn't do that to you, you are far too much fun," continued Squire, unabashed, "I like to keep my eyes and ears well trained for any reasonable opportunity that affords itself."
Fredcat quickly filled the other two in on Squire's recent antics, whilst that sneaky squirrel looked on amused. "You realize that I have turned over a new leaf," he claimed, an innocent expression lighting up his cheeky face. "I'm a totally reformed character, now."
Fredcat stared at him in some disbelief. "No doubt we will find out in due course," he replied, adding, "there can't be many nuts available on this barren site." But Squire just chuckled sagely, and sped off.
On the way back home the chat turned to how Squire had inveigled his way into the Fredcat household with an eye to stealing food. "We had better watch out for that one," said Fredcat, darkly.
 Honourable Herbie |
When they reached home, Patches shot off, to the surprise of no one. It was well known that he could rarely keep still for long. Herbie and Fredcat joined Kitty, who was still lying contentedly in front of an open fire, grooming herself gently. Herbie started, "We met Squire! You know, he is quite a character." |
"Squire? Oh yes, I've heard something to that effect," commented Kitty, as she rose, stretching. At that moment Patches returned and asked what new mischief they could get up to next.
"I don't know about mischief, but for tea this evening we are going to have hard boiled eggs," stated Fredcat's best human friend, Cathie, as she strolled into the room. "I'm not sure about eating hard boiled eggs," said Patches, with a grimace. "Chocolate eggs are more my style," he added with a grin.
"That's OK," said Cathie," we will have Easter eggs as well. Come and see them!" she added and swiftly marched them all into the living room. "There they are," she smiled triumphantly. Only there they were clearly NOT!
"Squire," yelled Cathie in a fury. "I saw him hanging around earlier - I bet that little imp has made off with our chocolate Easter eggs!" She quickly shot out of the room, in an effort to catch the rustic rogue. But there didn't seem much point in doing this because she had little chance of catching any squirrel (and certainly not one as swift as Squire) (and he was not even in sight anyway, as it turned out).
 Restless Patches |
The four cats milled around uncertainly. There was an air of gloom surrounding Fredcat. He had been particularly looking forward to his Easter egg and now it was apparently gone. Forever! He was also upset that he had let his friends down. The other cats said very little, just kept looking sideways at each other, and then looking away. This was embarrassing. |
At last Cathie came back, having finally decided that looking for Squire would be fruitless. "Remember last time?" she asked, "We found the Christmas presents gone and they were later found upstairs in the attic. Before we take any further precipitate action, let's all thoroughly search the house and see if we can find any trace of the missing Easter eggs."
"Good idea!" agreed Fredcat, and he quickly organised everyone into search parties to hunt down the Easter eggs in case they were still around somewhere. Up and down the house they all toiled, even pressing the grumpy Mr. B. into service (!) as they scoured the whole house.
By the end of the search, though, all that had been found were the remains of some coloured wrappings from the eggs. "Where were those found?" asked Fredcat. It was Cathie who answered, "In the rubbish bin. That Squire may be a villain but he is certainly a tidy one!"
At last Fredcat frowned; it was clear to everyone that he was puzzled. Discreetly, and almost distractedly, he made his way outside. Here he managed to do something that Cathie had been unable to do; he was seen, much later, and at some distance from the Fredcat house, talking forcefully to Squire, and gesticulating animatedly. Squire was also throwing his paws around in an agitated manner. After a while Fredcat came back into the house, escorting a somewhat dejected Squire.
"Well, we have here a well known villain," said Fredcat, at last. The others looked balefully at Squire, though he looked defiant as usual. "Although," continued Fredcat, "there seems to be more of a problem here than I thought. You see, Squire, although he has a reputation as a bit of a scallywag, does have a little quirk in his habit of taking things." "What is that?" queried Kitty," with wide eyes.
"It's like this," continued Fredcat, "Squire inevitably only ever steals nuts and (unlike the last time he was caught in the Fredcat household) there were no nuts in the chocolate Easter eggs so wonderfully provided by Cathie. Therefore ... the loss of the Easter eggs cannot reasonably be placed at the door of Squire!"
Squire beamed. It was the first time he had been cleared of any crime and here was Fredcat the Famous doing just that - and doing it in style! Why, both his and Fredcat's reputations would soar!!
Fredcat paused, and then went on. "Which can only mean that someone (or some cat!) managed to find their way to the pile of Easter eggs and have a little nibble here and there."
Cathie gasped. "Whatever do you mean?" she said, and turned towards the kittens. "Was it one of you guys whose hunger pains got the better of you?" she added. "I am afraid so," replied Fredcat, and turned to look accusingly at Herbie.
"I first began to suspect Herbie when I remembered that when I came into the room very early this morning I saw him grooming himself - but his last meal had been hours earlier! That could only mean that he had recently had something additional to eat. The others were not grooming themselves so they were obviously not guilty."
As the others relaxed, Fredcat went on, relentlessly, "And then I remembered that when we were all ready to go out exploring, Kitty, here, decided, for no apparent reason, to stay at home - "relaxing" as she put it."
"I then worked out that she and Herbie must have become partners since she (being a cunning female) had easily managed to wheedle information from Herbie about the Easter eggs (he is, after all, a mere weak male!) and decided to stay behind to ensure that she obtained her fair share of the pickings."
Everyone looked at Kitty - who had the grace to blush. "Indeed, when we returned, Kitty was also grooming herself, thereby giving herself away completely," continued Fredcat, in a quiet tone. The room had by now become silent. What a carry on - two guilty kittens!!
Then slowly Fredcat turned his head and looked at Patches, "And you my friend, were so restless all day (which is characteristic, of course) but you had clearly got wind of the game and couldn't wait to shoot off as soon as we came into the house to grab your share of the goodies."
"We are very, very sorry," said the three kittens, speaking all at once. "I guess hunger and the attractive look of the Easter eggs made us very greedy. We will try to make it up to you." At this point Cathie interjected and said, "Look here, my good kittens, we couldn't possibly let a little thing like this make us all miserable. Fredcat and I have already forgiven you, hey, Fredcat?" (and here she nodded vigorously).
"One thing puzzles me though," added Cathie, when the others had gone to bed, "What alerted you so quickly to the fact that these little kittens were the culprits?" "Well, it was like this," said Fredcat, "when we first met Squire at the building site, it was apparent right from the off when he said hello to us, that Squire already knew their names! It was clear to me that he had already met them."
"You, Cathie, also knew that Squire had been around, looking for trouble and, indeed, you were quite ready to accuse him of being the thief yourself! It was hearing of Squire's earlier visit which gave the kittens the idea of eating the Easter eggs and putting the blame on Squire."
"Another thing that puzzled me was that Squire was not, and is not, as you thought, a particularly tidy squirrel. For example, when he nibbles nuts, like any squirrel he simply drops the outer shells wherever he is at that moment. He certainly wouldn't go to the trouble of finding a rubbish bin in which to drop the coloured wrappings of the vanished Easter eggs. No, sir, that is much more the behaviour of well-bred kittens, and I'm sure our visitors are that! Eat the chocolate Easter eggs, yes, then carefully discard the wrappings - yes, again! Good for them, in a way, as it shows they are learning good manners, even though hunger got the better of them on this occasion. After all, they are all very young, and no malice was aforethought at all in their actions. They are very sweet!"
 Fredcat solves the mystery |
"How clever of you!" said Cathie. "As it happens, I have some spare Easter eggs available, and you - and the little kittens - will definitely get the lion's share tomorrow." At this Fredcat brightened up considerably. Well, wouldn't you? Matters were certainly improving, there would be Easter eggs after all! |
Mr. B. listened to this tale with his usual amazement, "What do you take me for?" he growled, "A complete idiot?" Fredcat nodded, hopefully ... "As always, you come up with this quite bogus tale, expecting me to feel sorry for both you and these three innocent kittens. Then it will be a case of, here's the begging bowl and give us more and more Easter eggs, if you please. No way, Jose!" he grunted, "You can all go without."
"Your story is full of holes, as usual, how do you expect me to believe that bit about grooming, cats are always grooming themselves, and nobody could possibly even suspect that a single squirrel (even Mr. Squire, Esq.) could eat all those Easter eggs by himself without being very ill!"
"Now just you leave Fredcat alone," slated Cathie, "He has just solved a very puzzling mystery - and with considerable skill. Much more of that unwarranted criticism from you, and you will find that you will have missed out on your own Easter egg. As it happens, I think that your Easter egg is extremely special in as much as it is filled with lots and lots of baby Easter eggs ... and it would be extremely unfortunate for you if it were to be passed on to some deserving kittens instead."
Mr. B. growled anew but thought better of prolonging the argument - arguing with Cathie was rarely profitable. Mr. B. looked at Fredcat. Fredcat looked straight back at him and, sooooo slowly and sooooo carefully winked. Diddled again!
Hmmm... What do you think, Gentle Reader?